When Xmas falls on a Friday...

T'was the evening of Christmas and inside the shul

Not a hint to be seen of the fact it was Yule

The siddurs were piled by the front door with care

In the hope that some congregants might soon be there.

 

But the children were nestled all snug in their beds

The Palwin's at lunchtime had gone to their heads

My wife in her sheitl and me in kippah

Had decided that shul was a mitzvah too far.

 

When out on the driveway there came such a clatter

I turned down the sound to see what was the matter

And grabbed the remote to adjust the TV

To the cameras on my rooftop for security.

 

The spotlight installed there to ward off intruders

Threw light on the image there on my computers

And what to my wondering eyes should appear?

It looks like my rabbi is visiting me here!

The beard and the streimel, so clear from above

I knew in a moment it must be my Rav

And right there behind him, his followers came

He'd brought his own minyan and called them by name!

"Now Hymie! now, Monty! now, Reuben and Lev!
On, Moishe! On, Dovid! on, on Abie and Dave!
We have prayers to recite and there's nothing can stop us -

It's December the twenty-fifth, but it's still shobbes!'


'Hey Nettie!' I cried to my slumbering wife

'The rabbi is here!' 'Is it true?' 'On my life!'

'Oi vey' she replied, ''tell me how can this be?'

'Never mind that,' I said 'Help me take down the tree!'

 

So the rebbe and followers came to my door

They could not ring the bell - they'd be breaking the law!

A divine inspiration came down to them then -

And they struck up a chorus of 'shalom aleichem.'

 

Meanwhile inside of my beleaguered front door

I was rapidly sweeping up crumbs from the floor

To get rid of the signs of our afternoon's feast -

I hoped there'd be no trace of bacon at least...

 

'I think that they've come here to help us to daven,'

I said as with one hand I opened the oven;

With the other the turkey remains shoved inside,

Along with the pudding I needed to hide.

Meanwhile outside the front door the singing had ended

It remained firmly closed – the rabbi was offended

'Vos ist dos?' he exclaimed and muttered quite dimly

And decided instead that he'd come down the chimney.

He shot out of the fireplace, hit his head on the table

My wife, quite nonplussed, simply offered a bagel

And said 'It's so lovely to welcome you here

Would you like herring on it, or simply a schmier?'

 

'And as for your minyan outside my front door

Maybe they'd like some kugel – I have plenty more

So bring them all in – I have so much to give

We can all have some nosh just in time for Ma'ariv'

 

So remember next time Christmas falls on Friday

You can't treat it just as turkey and mince pie day

And when the sun sets and the pudding's all gone

Get along to your shul and say 'Shabbat Shalom!'
December 2009
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